Well, they still haven't found Amelia Earhart or her plane.
Of course, it's only been 75 years, so what's the rush?
The famed female aviator disappeared in a horrific crash in turn four during the 41st running of the Daytona 500.
Wait, that was Dale Earnhardt.
Earhart vanished while trying to fly around the world in search of a guy named Lindbergh that she wanted to punch in the nose.
Since then, she has become the only adequate two-word defense by husbands whose wives insist that they stop and ask for directions when lost while driving.
"Harry, you fedora-wearing buffoon, you know you're lost again. Why don't you pull over at this gas station and buy a map?"
"Amelia frickin' Earhart."
For the last 75 years, a popular home game involves speculation over Earhart's whereabouts, and whether she's been spotted hanging out with Elvis.
A search party was organized this year by a group of hide-and-go-seek experts who believe she landed on a deserted island in the Pacific Ocean. Reports that she was stranded with a professor, a movie star, an obscenely wealthy couple, a boat captain and his red-shirted mate, and some girl named Mary Anne have not yet been confirmed.
It took this long to mount a serious search because investigators had to wait for a certain television channel to "discover" the $2 million required for the hunt. Also, they wanted to give her a good head start.
The expedition also had a second purpose: to confirm a posit that television networks have way more money than sense, a theory thoroughly tested by E! network's renewal of "Keeping Up With The Kardashians" for a seventh season.
According to the story in what appears to be an east coast horse racing sheet called Philly.com, a group of researchers used the cash to buy high-tech equipment like a really good iPhone 4S with the Socialcam video app and maybe some surplus sonar gear from the Andrea Doria to help with their investigation.
They spent weeks doing underwater reconnaissance around the island of Nikumaroro, but couldn't locate anything that might be as big as, say, a twin-engine 10-passenger airplane. However, the scientists with degrees and large titles had a legitimate response, explaining that stuff left at the bottom of the ocean for 75 years is, quote, "hard to find."
The results of their extensive and well-hyped search were "inconclusive," which is scientist-speak for "we didn't find nuthin'."
So far, rumors that Geraldo Rivera of Capone's Vault fame was in charge of the search are still unsubstantiated.
In previous trips, researchers have found what they believe to be incontrovertible evidence that the flier spent time on the island, including (wait for it)...a campfire! Nearby they also found an empty can, a bottle, and a bumper sticker that says "My Other Car Is A Lockheed Electra 10E."
However, in 1991, the group found a woman's shoe that resembles the kind known to have been worn by Earhart, and of a style that no local cannibal would be caught dead wearing after Labor Day. Results of testing on that shoe are still pending, awaiting the return of legendary footwear expert Prince Charming.
The fact that the explorers didn't find Earhart, her navigator, her plane, or any paperwork from a TSA strip-search hasn't stopped plans by the Discovery Channel to air the project's documentary in August.
So far, no confirmation has been given as to whether Rivera will host the show.
In an effort not to be outdone by the educational upstarts at the Discovery Channel, speculation has increased that PBS will soon mount their own well-funded search for Earhart.Early reports that PBS will use some of today's best global investigators, including Dora the Explorer and Carmen Sandiego, are still unconfirmed at this time.